In my last Christianity and Mental Health post I talked about helplessness and mentioned change often throughout the post. (See: https://northwoodsgirlblogging.com/christianity-and-mental-health-helplessness/) But how does one change. First, one must want to change. Are you tired of your situation enough to make the change? Are you ready to make a new start? Though out grad school I learned many ways to effect change in the client but there was one kind which is my favorite for short term therapy. It is called “Solution-focused” therapy. It is a good one for changing situation when you have some control over the situation.
Please note the following information is not for people with serious mental health problems. If you have serious mental health problems, please talk to someone who is a licensed therapist. I am not licensed nor am I a therapist. I do have a master’s degree and have been trained to do therapy, but I do not have any experience in therapy beyond grad school. The following information can be used in many situations to help make changes in one’s life.
It is helpful to have a notebook or journal to write down things you may find helpful as you read the following part of this post.
First, what do you want to change? Is it a new job or a change in your financial situation? Or do you want something to change in a relationship you are involved in? Write out specifically what you want to change.
Look over your recent past. When were there times when the problem you are now having did not exist? What was different? What did you do during those times that worked in a positive way? What were some things others did that helped make the problem seem better? Give yourself some time with each question. Write down your answers.
Three things to think on while writing out your answers:
- Instead of looking at the ”problem” which is something you do not want, look at what you do want. Don’t just say you want the problem to go away. What do you want instead?
- Does this work? Do more of it. What has worked in the past? Identify thing you did which worked in your past. Could these things work in the future?
- If it is not working do something different. What did not work?
Now I want you to imagine in your mind for a few moments what if you woke up one day and the change you wanted already happened. What does this change look like? How can you tell it happened? Write down what your world looks like with this change you imagined. How are you feeling about this change? How will others know the change has happened? Imagine this new world on a scale of one to ten and ten being the best and one being the worst, what number do you give this new world? When was the last time things were like the day you woke up and the change had already happened?
Now let’s look for solutions.
Write down your goal. Look at where you are now and where do you want to be. You are the expert on yourself. What skills do you realize you have by looking at what worked in the past? Write down things you might try.
During the next week look for:
- Times you avoided the problem and how.
- What others did that helped the situation.
- When you tried something different-notice how well it worked or not.
- Pay attention to anything which might suggest your problem can be solved.
After the week rate yourself on the same scale you did above. Notice any change? Why do you suppose it happened? Hopefully you will see yourself higher on the scale this week as opposed to last. What small steps can you take to increase yourself on the scale?
You are the expert on what you can do. You can find your strengths. However, you do not have to do this alone! God is already working in you to help solve your problem. Pray and ask Him to show you the answers to these questions in your life. There is no problem God cannot fix! Be willing to let Him lead you. Finally, find someone whom you trust to help you work through these questions and to pray with you. I am praying for you.
References
Capuzzi, D. & Gross, D. R. (2007). Counseling and Psychotherapy-Theories and Interventions, 4th ed. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Pearson-Merrill Prentice Hall.
Kollar, Charles, A. (2011). Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling. Grand Rapids, Michigan Zondervan.
The following are Affiliate links. Affiliate links are links to products and websites I recommend. If you click on the links and make a purchase I may receive a small percent of your purchase at no extra cost to you.
Making Peace With Change: Navigating Life’s Messy Transitions with Honesty and Grace
By Gina Butz / Discovery House
Change is hard. Whether it’s a good change like a job promotion or a badchange like a devastating health diagnosis, it’s stressful. Gina Brenna Butzshares her personal stories of struggling with change and encourages readersto trust God. She writes with compassion as she urges readers to rely onGod’s goodness, lean on Him for strength, rejoice that He is constant, andultimately fi nd satisfaction in Him rather than in circumstances. Biblicalstories and Scripture verses weave together to help the reader see changefrom our heavenly Father’s viewpoint. He works all things together for thegood of His children, often through seasons of change.
First Aid for Your Health: Making 10 Therapeutic Life Changes
By Edward E. Moody, Jr. Ph.D. / Randall House Publications
What if you could be healthier by making some slight changes in your life? In First Aid for Your Health, you’ll find 10 therapeutic life changes that can lead to better health. Based on solid research and the teachings of Scripture, Dr. Moody shares valuable evidence that supports how spiritual health plays a significant role in achieving good physical health.
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We decided last year (after years of deliberation) that our life was not working and moved across the country to be near family and to begin again. We’ve had to consider many of the questions you pose here along the way. Change is very hard to execute, but necessary at times for mental health.
Great suggestions to change our focus from the negative to the positive, and look at what you do have control over. Always with the guidance of God, this really empowers us to alter the things we do have the ability to change. Thanks for your post. Always good to think this way.
Inspiring post! One step at a time is always the best way to succeed in any change! Great tips and advice!
Change is hard, but you’re absolutely right on it being essential for mental health.
Great advice and really needed right now.
I have never been a fan of change and find it very stressful, even though most changes have a positive outcome. We are planning a major change, moving across the country to start new. As excited as I am for the change, I also find myself petrified by the what if?
Despite all of our difficulties God is always there!
I like how there is important placed on making small steps. I feel like people have expectations that are unrealistically high, and feel defeated when they don’t quite meet them.
That is a great strategy. Thanks for sharing your information.
A positive spin on anything allows more clarity for acceptance!
Changes is a toughy for me. But journaling has really helped me reflect on changes that have happened and think thoroughly about changes that are coming up. I love all your ideas about how to think about the issue with different results and outcomes.
Change can be tough but this was a really good post that made me think about some things that I am not happy with in my life right now and the questions that I need to ask myself to change things to make them better. Thank you!
I decided to homeschool one of my kids because I believe that mental health is more important that being educated in the traditional way. Change is what brings us to health… thank you!
Great tips for coping with change. I especially like focusing on the positive thing you want and the outcome, instead of the negative thing you want to change.
Great advice! I tend to fight change up to a point and then I have what I call a “breakdown to a breakthrough” I fight it and then get okay with it and look at the positives. I’ll be on board with change, it just takes time.
Each year I take some time to self-reflect and see what things I need to be working on/changing. I try to remember to take time throughout the year and reevaluate how things are going.
Great tips, thank you!
I love the questions you suggest asking yourself. Small steps are so important.
I like the disclosure you added in there. There are definitely some mental health changes that can be made with changing your mindset and taking steps to work on improving, but there are always some that will need professional/medical assistance.
Since I have a master’s degree in counseling I have been trained to know what I can and cannot do in regards to mental health issues. I can write about mental health (and I have, several under this topic) but I cannot counsel anyone. I do not have a license to counsel.
Great post on change – it can be difficult at times and helpful tips can make a difference!
Such an inspirational post!! Certainly an area that we all should spend some time focusing upon.
Great suggestions! And you are right. The first step in creating change in any area of our life is the desire to want to.