Over the last year or so my back has become increasingly worse. Sometimes at work after I would come back after my hour long meal break it would lock up on me and I could not move for a short time. The first time it happened was the day I saw a physical therapist and he evaluated me. I went to work after my appointment not realizing the effect of the physical exam would have on my body. After I had my meal break my back hurt with every step but I continued to the front to do my job. The pain was intense and I asked the assistant manager if I could go home. The next time I saw the therapist I told him what happened and he said it was because he evaluated me.
However, it continued to happen but I continued to work. Most of the time the intense pain would last about 30 minutes or so after being back from my meal break I was able to walk it off and it seemed to relieve itself. Not always, sometimes I would spend the rest of my shift in a great deal of pain. The therapist did give me some exercises which I still use today which help stretch my back out. Part of the reason is because I have scoliosis, which is curvature of the spine. As time went on, the frequency of my back locking up, increased. In June I was on vacation for ten days and had very little problems. When I got back from vacation my back locked up twice, once sending me home an hour early and the second time I was wheeled to the break room for at least 30 minutes where I laid on the couch and stretched my back. (This is something I do not feel comfortable doing in public.) This last episode sent me to my health care provider to find out why my back locks up.
This started a four month period of reduced hours or no hours at work. It also was four months of seeing a number of doctors and having tests and procedures done. I was amazed how God was with me throughout this time. The first week after seeing my health care provider she put me on four hour a day shifts. I did not know how I was going to pay my bills, eat or put gas in my car so I went to social services and signed up for help. They helped me with food share, health insurance and paid some of my electric bill. I also called some of my monthly bills and made smaller payment arrangements.
Walmart, where I work, works with another company for leave of absences and short term disability. Working with this company, which will remain nameless, was a very trying experience. It took them over a month to grant me short term disability. Therefore, I only received one paycheck in July and that was half of a normal check. Yet, I was able to meet all my bills and had plenty of food to eat and enough gas in my car. How? Well, I only receive $15 in food share that month because at the time one of my children was living with me. Therefore I went to the food pantry when I was able. Going to the food pantry is nice but it is carrying everything upstairs and putting it all away when my back was killing me was very difficult. One time my pastor called and said there was food left over for me from Ruby’s pantry. (Ruby’s pantry is held once a month and for $20 you get a lot of food.) At the end of July I worked with a lady at ADRC to help me apply for social security disability in case I could not go back to work. The day my application was sent off someone from my church gave me a large amount of money and my short-term disability was finally approved. A “Yay God” day.
One reason, and it is a big one, I was able to go back to work is because I was able to join the YMCA. Our Y has a really nice pool and hot tub. When I first started going I could barely walk into the pool down the ramp. As time went on I developed a routine and I have built myself up to an hour of work out. However, I am back to work fulltime and I am finding it very difficult to find the time to go when the pool has open swim.
In August my pain management doctor burned the nerve endings in my lower spine. I thought it would solve my problems but it did not help my back locking up. I did go back to work four hours a day starting August 16th. I also saw an orthopedic doctor who finally described what was happening when my back locks up but only briefly. It is from sitting too long, but I knew that, and the muscles tightening up. Going back to work was hard and it still is but I am managing. I was the use of a stool to relieve back pain. I still use it and will probably keep using it until my back issue is fully resolved.
God also saw me through September. I saw a different orthopedic doctor for my shoulders. I found an apartment I hoped would be a better fit for me but it turned out it was not. Another person gave me a large sum of money so I met all of September’s bills and had some left over for October. Finally, I applied for a critical needs grant from work and that came through early in October.
Currently, besides my back still locking up at times I also have new pains I did not have before the doctor burned my nerve endings. These new pains are a combination between a severe burning sensation, stinging pain and a pinching pain similar to when a doctor sticks a needle in you only it is a lot of needles at once. The types of pains do not happen all the time or together but they are different from the pain I had before. Last time I saw the pain management doctor he said the pains are from scoliosis and may go away on it’s own. He said to come back in six weeks. I do not want to be in this pain another six weeks. I have a hard time doing anything outside of work because I have a lot of pain. I am waiting for another referral to see a different pain management doctor in a different town.
In the mean time I am working full time and trying to keep up at home on my days off. I joined a Bible study group and I am learning to forgive my past and look for ways to improve myself. Writing helps keep me sane. (See my post on Prayer Journaling.) God bless you, Alice
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