Learning to Trust

Three weeks ago, my cat died.  I wrote about her life in a Loss of a Pet post.  I loved her cuddles and comfort when I was feeling down.  She was there through the good times and the bad times for sixteen years.  I still miss her, but I decided to get another cat for comfort and cuddles.  So, I filled out an application for the humane society for another cat.  I looked at available cats on their webpage and made an appointment to go see the cats in hopes I would find one to love.

So, two weeks ago I went to the humane society for my one o’clock appointment.  The cats were in cages.  The cages were more like little rooms with glass walls on one side so people could view the cats.  There were three levels of these little rooms.  The staff said I could pick out a cat then go into a room and they would bring the cat in so I could spend some time with each cat to make my choice.  My son Aaron met me at the shelter to help me decide.

I visited with four cats that day.  The first one let me hold her on my lap and pet her.  The next two were more skittish and I did not make any connection with them.  I said to Aaron “they are not Princess” (my cat who just died).  So, I went out to look at the other cats they had hoping to find one.  I was looking for a small cat because Princess was a small cat and I have fibromyalgia and it hurts to have a large cat on me.  Princess loved to lay under my chin. 

Then I saw BDJ and saw he was only six pounds.  He is a beautiful all black cat.  I asked to see him and went back into the little room to wait for him.  I was told he was a very shy cat.  BDJ, which stands for Big Distinguished JungleCat, immediately climb up into a wooden box attached to the wall and hid.  I could see him in there through the holes carved in the side of the box.  Soon I discovered the side of the box had hinges and I could open the box to get a better look.  I reached in and let BDJ smell my hand while I talked to him.  After a little while I petted him, and he seemed okay with it.  One time I stopped petting him and he moved his head to rest on my hand.  I fell in love with this little black cat.  I tried picking him up to hold him, but I could tell he did not want to be held so I put him down on top of the box and he stayed right there.  I petted him and talked to him and he looked at me with those big black eyes, so I told Aaron “I think this is the one”. 

I left BDJ in the room and went to talk to the staff about adopting him.  They found my application and said they would look it over and call me if I am approved to adopt BDJ.  I asked if I could spend more time with BDJ before I left, and they said that was okay.  I just petted him for awhile and told him I was going to come back and get him to take him home.  He looked at me with what looked like tears in his eyes when I said I was leaving.  (BDJ had been sick when he was brought to the shelter and he may still be getting over it, hence the teary eyes.)

I went to Walmart to get some things for BDJ and to tell everyone I was going back to work the next day.  (I had been on leave because I tested positive for COVID, but I was cleared to go back to work.)  I was checking out when I got the call from the humane society saying I was approved to adopt BDJ and could come get him at five o’clock.  I asked how much so I could get cash.  They said he was free but there was a twenty-dollar fee for the blood test plus tax.  Black cats are less likely to be adopted so they do not charge the usual fees for them.  Sad!

I went home and put away my groceries and got the cat carrier.  I put the bed I just bought in the carrier for BDJ.  Princess never used a bed.  I put down dry food and water and filled the litterbox.  Time to go get BDJ!  I got there and there was a ton of paperwork to go through.  I signed papers and one of the staff put BDJ in the cat carrier.  I talked to him all the way home. 

I set the cat carrier on the floor and opened the door so BDJ could come out.  However, he was too scared, so he did not come out the entire evening.  I watched TV and talked to him.  By ten o’clock I was tired and went to bed.  I woke up the next morning and the cat carrier was empty.  I looked everywhere but I could not find him.  And that became the pattern for the next two weeks. 

After a day or two I decided to call him Samson.  It seemed fitting for such a handsome boy.  I continued to talk to him even though I could not find where he is hiding.  Sometimes I would call him Sam and more often Sammy.  I was starting to think he would never come out of hiding.  I started to pray each morning Samson would come out.

I would wake up every morning and BDJ food dish was empty and there would be toys everywhere.  After the first couple of days, I found he was not using the litterbox but pooping by the front door.  I cleaned that up and put a cardboard tray with litter in it by the door.  He used it the next night so I dumped it in the litterbox in the bathroom so he would know where to poop.  I refilled the tray with a little litter and set it back by the door.  It was used again so I dumped the litter in the litterbox and this time I threw the tray away.  After that I saw he was only using the litterbox in the bathroom.  Yet he still was not coming out of hiding when I was home and awake.  Once in awhile I would see him but only for a moment as he goes from hiding under the couch in the morning when I get up to his hiding place somewhere in either my bedroom or my office.

Yesterday morning I woke up at four in the morning.  I had to work at eight but four was way to early to be awake, so I laid there trying to go back to sleep.  While laying there I was praying.  I asked God why to have me adopt a cat who did not trust me. 

I adopted Samson from the cage.  I saved him.  He is a black cat and had been at the shelter two months.  Black cats are less likely to be adopted.  His paperwork states he was found by someone who could not keep him.  The staff and vet judge him to be about a year old when Samson was brought to the shelter.  We know nothing of his first year of life.  The paperwork also says Samson was stressed when he was brought to the shelter and the staff told me he was sick.

So why did God have me adopt this cat?  I felt like God was telling me while I laid there just like Samson, I need to learn to trust God for more than just my basic needs.  After all God saved me.  Who is to say if Samson would ever be adopted if I did not adopt him?  What would have happened to him if I did not choose him that day?  Would he be put to sleep?  God saved me from death and saved me from being in the “cage” of life without a loving Savior. 

Just like Samson, God is meeting all my basic needs.  I have a safe home.  I have food to eat.  I have entertainment.  But what about trusting God for more.  Proverbs 3:5-6 says:

5Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.6Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

I think God is telling me to trust Him every day.  Trust Him with everything.  To pray about everything big and small in my life.  Not rely on myself or my own wisdom but to trust God to show me His will for me.  To trust God with all my heart even the things that hurt. 

I do not know why Samson is afraid of people.  I pray someday he will learn to trust I would never hurt him.   Just like I want Samson to trust me so we can have a better relationship, I think God is teaching me to trust Him more so we can have a better relationship.  Are you trusting God fully?

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