Lessons Learned: Abigail

I Samuel 25
Last week I joined a group of ladies for a Bible study from the book Meek Not Weak by Abigail Wallace. The first lesson was taught by the author via zoom. In it she gave the example of Abigail as an example of meekness. Of course, this intrigued me into finding more about this woman. In Hebrew the name Abigail means ‘father rejoices’. According to the book Women of the Bible: Heroines and the Lessons They Can Still Teach Us, American Bible Society (2014), Abigail had “intelligence, diplomacy, and crisis-manage skills”. She was said to be very beautiful. They also infer she became Nabal’s wife not by her choice. Nabal was crude and mean in all of his dealings I Samuel 25:3. The Hebrew name Nabal means foolish. I cannot imagine any intelligent woman marrying a man like Nabal by choice. Below is Abigail’s story. Direct quotes from the Bible are from the New Living Translation.
The Marriage
My father is marrying me off to a man named Nabal. What kind of man is this guy with a name which means foolish? Anyway, the man cannot be too stupid as he is very wealthy. I trust God in this as I am not given a choice. I am to meet him tomorrow night at a feast he is giving in my honor. I am interested in meeting him, but I suspect he only wants me for my beauty and probably does not care about my thoughts. My father is more about money than he cares about his family. And, I am not his favorite because I have stood up to him rather than bow to his demands. Not here though, I do not have a choice. Perhaps I will love this man who is to be my husband?
I came home from the feast a wiser woman. I do not see myself falling in love with someone who is so mean to everyone except those who he can gain financially from. I do not know why God wants me in this relationship, but I am submitting to His will, and His alone. Nabal does not want to wait the year betrothal as a custom of our people. My father wants me off his hands too. I am to be married next week, already. The LORD’s will be done.
Two years have gone by and I have not become pregnant. I know this continues to make Nabal angry but I am trying to be patient with the Lord. Living with Nabal has not been easy to say the least. However, his servants and the men who work for Nabal seem to love me. They come to me if there is any issue Nabal refuses to take care of. They know I will see it is done. Nabal often throws parties and gets drunk. He gets meaner when he is drunk and everyone is afraid of him. I try to stay in my rooms when he gets like that and he usually leaves me alone. For that I am very thankful. Little did I know God was soon going to change my life for the better.
David
There was a guy named David. He was appointed to be the next king. Our current king, Saul, hated David and was trying to kill him. So far God has prevented Saul from succeeding but David has been in hiding. David has a group of men loyal to him. They are known to hide in the wilderness with him and they are fierce soldiers. I have always wondered what kind of man this David is that God would appoint him king when we already had a king. I pray for David’s protection every day. I feel drawn to this man who I have never met. I did not know I would soon meet this wonderful future king.
Sheep-shearing
The time of sheep-shearing was upon us. Nabal’s men do all the work, Nabal plans the party when they are done. I was busy overseeing the house as usual, but adding additional cooking and cleaning for the big party. I did not know about Nabal’s visitors until it was almost too late. Here is what happened: David had sent ten of his men to Nabal to ask for provisions. It turns out David and his men had been protecting Nabal’s sheep and goats for some time now while they were hiding out. They were running out of food so they asked Nabal to help them out.
Here is the message the ten men brought to Nabal, “Peace and prosperity to you, your family, and everything you own. I am told that it is sheep-shearing time. While your shepherds stayed among us near Carmel, we never harmed them, and nothing was ever stolen from them. Ask your own men, and they will tell you this is true. So, would you be kind to us, since we have come at a time of celebration? Please share any provisions you might have on hand with us and with your friend David.” I also heard what foolish Nabal replied, “Who is this fellow David? Who does this son of Jesse think he is? There are a lot of servants these days who run away from the masters. Should I take my bread and my water and my meat that I have slaughtered for my shearers and give it to a band of outlaws who have come from who knows where?”
When I was told this I was outraged Nabal would insult David and his men! How foolish! I am sure David will be planning to attack Nabal. How could he not? I sprang into action! I must stop this before we are all killed! I, with the help of the household, gathered 200 loaves of bread, two wineskins of wine, five sheep which had just been slaughtered, a large basket of grain, 100 clusters of raisins, and 200 fig cakes. They say ‘a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’, I hope this changes David’s mind. Everything was packed on donkeys and I told the servants to start out that I would be following right behind them. I quickly put my best dress on and slipped out to my waiting donkey. Nabal was not wise to what was going on and I was not about to tell him.
I caught up to my servants just as we were entering a ravine. David and his men were coming towards us. I felt a moment of fear, but then I remembered God was always with me and I can trust Him. I could see David was visibly angry and I could hear him shouting at his men, “A lot of good it did to help this fellow. We protected his flocks in the wilderness, and nothing he owned was lost or stolen. But he has repaid me with evil for good. May God strike me and kill me if even one man of his household is still alive tomorrow morning.”
The Apology
I was right! David and his men were on their way to attack us. Quickly, I jump of my donkey and bowed as low as I could before David. He looked at me in confusion. I heard someone say to David that I was Nabal’s wife. Then I saw pity in David’s eyes. I immediately proceeded to apologize to David for the stupidity of my husband. “I accept all the blame in this matter, my lord. Please listen to what I have to say. I know Nabal is a wicked and ill-tempered man; please do not pay any attention to him. He is a fool, just as his name suggests. But I never even saw the young men you sent.” I could tell David was impressed with me so I continued. “Now, my lord, as surely as the LORD has kept you from murdering and taking vengeance into your own hands, let all you enemies and those who try to harm you be as cursed as Nabal is.” I suddenly thought to myself, ‘where did that come from?’ I am not one to curse anyone, let alone my own husband. It must be God speaking through me. Thank you, LORD! Given courage from the LORD I continued. “Here is a present that I, your servant, have brought you and your men. Please forgive me if I have offended you in any way. The LORD will surely reward you with a lasting dynasty, for you are fighting the LORD’s battles. You are innocent before the LORD. Even when you are being chased day and night by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the LORD you God, secure in His treasure pouch! The LORD will make you the leader of His people as He promised. Please do not let this moment of anger be a blemish on your record and keep you from leading effectively. Please keep your conscience clear and allow the LORD to do great things through you. Then, my lord, remember me, your servant.” I could not even look up when I finished pleading my case. However, David surprised me when he said, “Praise the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you to meet me today! Thank God for your good sense! Bless you for keeping me from murder and carrying out vengeance with my own hands. Today I swore to my men not one of Nabal’s men would be alive in the morning. I know the LORD, God of Israel, sent you to me to prevent me from committing this great sin. I will not kill your husband. Now go home in peace.”
As I headed for home, I could not help myself in wishing I had married David instead of Nabal. Here was a man who not only respected me, but he was a wonderful man of God. With a heavy heart of being married to a man who thinks of me as an object, who does not care what the LORD commands either, I walked in my home. However, arriving home I found my husband partying and completely drunk. I smiled at the servants knowing they were miserable serving under this hurtful man. God knew they have suffered long enough! I had a strange feeling this was Nabal’s last party. Heading to bed I decided to wait until Nabal was sober to tell him I went against his wishes and thereby saved his life. Let the LORD defend His chosen king, David, from the insults Nabal threw at him.
The next day I saw Nabal was sober so I decided it was time. Even though normally I am a strong woman, sometimes I have a little fear when approaching Nabal. Yet, today I sensed a peace I could not explain. It was time.
“Nabal, my husband, I have done a thing. I have gone against your wishes and sent food to David and his men. I have heard David and his men have been protecting our shepherds so I thought it would be a good idea to feed them. Please forgive me, husband.” Suddenly, Nabal’s face became as red as blood, then as white as snow. It looked like he wanted to say something and his hand rose up half way as if to strike me, but his whole body became frozen in stone. My first thought was of Lot’s wife who had turned into a pillar of salt. Then I realized Nabal had had of stroke. He was paralyzed. Some of the men carried Nabal to his bed. He lay there without being able to move. I would come in to check on him and his eyes would follow me around the room. I pitied him because when he did look at me, he still looked angry. I prayed for his soul each night.
Ten days went by and I went into Nabal’s room. I knew right away he was dead. I felt nothing but freedom deep in my soul. I called all the staff together and announced Nabal’s death. There was a huge sigh of relief from everyone. I took charge of everything, even though I am a woman. I appointed supervisors to oversee the shepherds and lands. Nabal had a man I did not trust supervising the shepherds. I fired him. I was already running the household so I did not make any changes there. I also sent a message to David telling him of Nabal’s death.
Marriage Proposal
To my surprised a few of David’s men called on me with a message from David. David asked me to become his wife. My heart immediately started singing praises to the LORD! Without hesitation I said, “I, your servant, would be happy to marry David. I would even be willing to become a slave, washing the feet of his servants! I could not wait even one minute! I yelled to the head housekeeper, ’you are in charge of the house’. I packed a bag and told five of my trusted servant girls to do the same. Within an hour we were all on donkeys following David’s men to my one true love, David.
The Later Years
A few years later there was a raid on the camp when David and his men were out fighting. Many of the wives and the children were captured and was taken miles away. I encouraged each woman in the group to stay strong. I knew the LORD would protect us and send David and his men to rescue us. And God did just that. Within a few days we were safely back at camp. Not one of us was harmed in any way. God protected us. There was a great celebration in the camp that night.
My dear husband loved women. He went on to marry several women. I gave birth to a son named Daniel. He loved his father and loved the LORD. It has not been easy, but God has been there for me every step of my life. As I learned as a young wife to a foolish man, I can always trust God to give me His best.
Discussion
As I reread this story I noticed some things about Abigail:
-She trusted God even when she had to marry an impossible man.
-She submitted to God’s will for her life even though it would not be her choice.
-She learned patience.
-She gained respect from those around her by the way she lived in adversity.
-She became angry at injustice, yet she did not let it control her. Instead, she took control of the situation.
-She knew God was with her even when she felt fear.
-She apologized even when she did nothing wrong.
-She was able to see that mistakes made today effects one’s future.
-She cared about those around her.
-She prayed for those who hurt her.
-She encouraged others.
-She was not a victim!
What an amazing woman! I know I could learn a lot from this woman. Lately I have been really struggling. Last year I suffered three different injuries at three different times during the year. That put me out of work quite a bit during the last few months. I became disabled. Yet I was determined to go back to work. I applied for jobs I thought I could do but was not able to get hired. So, I went in to talk to Walmart about returning there in a position I thought would be a good fit for me. I lasted three weeks. I had left Walmart in March due to chronic back pain. I drove for Door Dash all summer and felt no back pain. However, after only a few days of returning to Walmart in October, I went from being able to walk around freely to having to use my cane to get around my apartment. I ended up leaving Walmart. I did not feel any position there would work for me anymore. I slipped into depression. I became a victim of my disability. I was broken and did not see a future. January brought a couple of interviews and I got my hopes up. Yet I was passed over. I continued to struggle, but I was slowly learning to surrender to God. I knew I had to allow God to change me. I am a work in progress. One thing I knew was God wanted me to write so writing about Abigail spoke to my heart. I need to trust God more and not let myself be a victim. I do not know how God is going to meet my needs but I do know He has plans for me!
What are you struggling with and how can reading about Abigail help you?