Save Our Children

There has been a lot of talk about pedophiles and their desire to be included as normal.  I know you are screaming at me “NO!” and I agree.  I do not usually write about political issues, but I cannot be silent about this one.  My story and many other children’s stories are why we, as a society, cannot allow this to happen.  Sexual abuse affects a person in every area of their life and throughout the person’s entire life.  My blog is from a Christian perspective and from a mental health perspective.

I am sure you know someone who has been molested whether they have told you or not.  Many, who do not get help, believe themselves to be partly to blame for what happened to them.  This causes shame and guilt.  This could also affect the person’s self-worth.  If not treated the person will have difficulty in adulthood.  All will develop mental health problems of some form or another.  Many will turn to drugs and alcohol to drowned out their pain. 

We must teach our children early, in an age appropriate way, about what is okay touching and not.  We also need to teach them they need to find an adult they can trust and tell them if someone is making them uncomfortable.  Unfortunately, sometimes it is the child’s parent who is abusing them.  Children need to know from someone they can trust that abuse is not their fault and they can say no. 

Other stories show why this is an important topic.  I know of one person who was kidnapped at a young age and assaulted.  As an adult she became addicted to drugs.  Fortunately, she is now clean and helping others.  She is telling her story.   I am sure there are many like her who have stories to tell.

My story has always been difficult to tell.  In fact, I was 59 years old before I told my sister’s I was molested.  Fifty-nine years old!  All those years of guilt and shame.  All those years of hurting inside.  All the things I have done since then that I have am ashamed to admit to from the consequences of my molestation.  For years I suffered low self esteem and feelings of unworthiness.  I have depression.  I am managing it, but it is still there at times.  I suffer poor body image.  I also have some anxiety.  Certain men make me extremely uncomfortable. 

You see, I was raised in a strict Baptist church.  They had lots of rules to live by.  One day a friend of one of my brothers molested me.  To make matters worse he was the son of one of the leaders in my church.  I was around four years of age.  I could not tell anyone.  My innocence was gone.  It affected how I looked at sex.  It affected my marriage, but I did not realize it at the time.  I was taught a wife must submit and obey her husband without expecting anything in return.  Do not get me wrong, my now ex husband never abused me or anything.  I just never felt my opinions mattered or I was supposed to have a career or anything.  I just supported my husband and when we adopted, I stayed home with the kids.  I thought that was how it was supposed to be. 

Looking back, I can see how one incident affected everything about me.  But in the last several years things have changed so much.  I am finally realizing I can tell my story without shame.  It was not my fault!  I also have learned about how much God loves me even though I have known it all my life, I own that love now.  I have learned so much about God and why I behaved the way I did in the past.  I feel good about myself for once in my life.  I am making strides to be what God wants me to be. 

But it should not have taken fifty plus years to get here.  Please my friends, be watchful for your children.  Watch for signs they seem uncomfortable around certain people.  Teach them to come to you with anything.  Do not let the pedophiles win!  I will leave you with Jesus’ words about pedophiles.

Mathew 18:6

6But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea.