Where is My Trust?

Psalm 42

While reading this chapter in the Bible, I saw me in it. I saw me in my past as well as me now. Am I trusting God as I should?

In the past chronic pain and long hours on my feet at work kept me from sleeping well or enjoying activities. I was working until 11pm or later five nights a week. I was in constant pain which I did not know how to manage. I subjected my body to injections and nerve burnings where I found some relief.

I had no social life, and it was hard to make it to church most Sundays. My emotional state was a mess, and I had no real friends. I did not feel wanted and often felt like everything I did was wrong.

I did not even feel safe at home because there was a registered sex offender/creepy guy who lived in an upstairs apartment who sometimes would look in my windows. My skin crawled every time I saw him. He also smoked outside the door and the fumes would come into my apartment. I have asthma and chronic bronchitis.

I felt stuck with no alternatives to my life.

 3Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,

“Where is this God of yours?

4My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be: I walked among the crowds of worshipers, leading a great procession to the house of God, singing for joy and giving thanks

amid the sound of a great celebration! 5Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad?

9“O God my rock,” I cry, “why have you forgotten me? Why must I wander around in grief,

oppressed by my enemies?” 10Their taunts break my bones. They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”

Fast forward to today. When both my kids decided to move independently to Wausau, I thought it would be nice to move with them. I did not think it was possible, yet God found a way. He put me in a great apartment and my transfer went through okay. He also put me in a great church. But most of all God changed me. Slowly! Yet, I notice it every day.

My schedule at work is more daytime hours freeing me evenings to do stuff with friends from church and get involved. I also work four days a week, not five, leaving me three days in a row off from work. Some weeks I am so busy I do not have time to be lonely or feel unwanted.

I still have chronic pain, but I am managing it better. I still wear a brace on my left foot and walk with a cane often, yet it is less than before. I also am now wearing a brace for my back at work and increased the dosage of one of my medicines to help with the pain. Yet, the most help is having a physical therapist who worked with me over a period to make sure I was ready to be on my own with daily exercises to strengthen my back and knees. Chronic pain no longer rules my life!

My home life is better too. I feel safe here and have no worries about the people who live in the other apartments in my building. Smoking is not permitted near the building and the one who does smoke is considerate of my health whenever I must go near her when she is smoking. It is freeing not be afraid anymore.

Yet the change came within! I was spending more time studying the Bible and in prayer. Often a couple of hours in the morning with my coffee. I also have a clear signal for a local Christian radio station in my car. Having music on helps lift my soul and helps me cope with my problems. I also get to see some of my siblings more often since I am an hour closer to them than when I was in Rhinelander.

1As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. 2I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?

8But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life.

Yet, I still worry about rising prices at the pump and in the grocery stores. I also worry about changes in management staff which could directly affect my schedule and peace of mind at work. But with my worries is the reminder I can trust God for my future.

I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!

Where is your trust?

Below are selections from Christianbook.com Home. I am affiliate of Christianbook. If you click on the link and make a purchase I may receive a small percentage of the sale at no extra cost to you. Christianbook offers a wide selection on books, Bibles and gifts.

Deep Calling Deep: A Psalm of Faith – Psalm 42
By Carole Towriss / McPherson Publishing

As The Deer, Camp Mug
By Dexsa-the Giving Company

Creative hosting calls for modern style drinkware, in trending new shape and design

• Inspired sentiment lifts your spirits with every cup you drink
• Encouragement gift for every occasion
• 15 ounce capacity ceramic mug
• Popular camping style with the nostalgic look of the vintage tin mug
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• As the deer pants for streams of water so my soul longs for you O God. Psalm 42:1
• Grey