Loss of a Pet

Christianity and Mental Health

Last week my cat Princess died in my arms.  I got her when she was about five months old.  She turned sixteen February 15, 2021.  I got her from my niece Rachal.  Rachal could not keep her because the landlord said she had too many cats in her apartment.  I had just moved into an apartment where I could have a cat.  My kids and I drove down to get her.  She was so little and cute.  I remember at one time she climbed up on the back of the chair I was sitting in and she messed up my hair.  Back then phones did not have cameras in them, so I do not have a picture.  I called it hair style by Princess.

Princess was there through my divorce.  I sure needed my furry little friend through the years of depression and low self-esteem.  She was there for the death of my mother-in-law, father-in-law, my mom, and my best friend Ralph.  Always there for a hug. 

She also traveled with me.  When the kids were little, I bought a tent, and we went camping at Dells Christian Campgrounds.  Princess loved the outdoors.  I remember putting her on a leash and letting her walk around the campgrounds.  She seemed really excited about all the new smells she encountered.  She also traveled several times to visit relatives.  She traveled well in her cat carrier.  Of course, at first when I put her in the carrier she would cry “Let me out mommy, let me out”.  Yet once we got on the road she would settle down and take a nap.   One time we stayed in a motel and I went out to get something out of my car and came back in and she got out of our room.  I was able to catch her before she got to far down the hall, but she scared me.

I moved a lot during Princess’ lifetime. She seemed to not be bothered by a new place. I think she liked my latest apartment as it has big windows and comfy carpet.

She also had cat friends.  One semester I did classes on campus rather than online.  I had to travel about four hours to my sister’s house each week on Monday and return on Friday.  My sister has asthma much worse than I do so Princess could not go with me.  So, I arranged for Princess to stay each week with my close friends.  They had a large male cat named Taz.  Princess and Taz had a great time. 

When my youngest child was a young teenager, she told me her best friend’s cat was having kittens and my kid wanted one.  I gave in then my kid begged me to get two of the kittens.  I gave in and we got Bear and Gingy.  Both were boys and they were all boys.  They figured out how to escape my mobile home through the back door and they would take off into the woods.  Princess would follow them as often as she could.  I did not want her out of the house.  She never got much more than six pounds and had long fur.  When my youngest moved back in with her dad he forced her to get rid of them.  Neither were fixed and they peed everywhere.

Later, as an adult my youngest moved back in with me.  This time she brought her cat Piper.  Piper and Princess got along well if they ignored each other.  Not like a one-time roommate’s big male cat.  I had a roommate for about six months, and she had a cat.  He bullied my much smaller Princess.  

Princess and my kids grew up together.  I got Princess when my kids were in elementary school.  They are in their twenties now.  Princess would put up with the kids messing with her.  They were never mean to her.  Yet she was always my cat.  I was the one who fed her and spend time with her.  The last few years it was just Princess and I living in my apartments.  Princess would spend much time tucked under my chin or near me.  I think she knew her time was coming to an end long before I realized it.  She had a tumor on her hip.

The last few months Princess had a hard time keeping food down.  She was throwing up almost every day.  But that did not stop her from wanting to share my meals with me.  She was skin and bones, but she never cried like she was in pain.  The last two weeks she really slowed down.  I noticed she was not using her litter box.  Two days before she died, she quit eating.  I started to get worried about her.  That was Monday.   By Tuesday she was having trouble walking.  I did hold her bowl of food up to her and she did eat.  She would come up to the couch where I was sitting and look like she was saying “can I come up and sit with you mommy?”.  I would invite her up and she would immediately climb under my chin.  By Tuesday she had to be helped up to sit with me.  She sat under my chin for awhile then she sat beside me the rest of the evening.  When I went to bed that night, I tucked up the little blanket she was sitting on in hopes she would just stay on the couch and sleep. 

I woke up around 6 am Wednesday morning.  I found her on the floor in front of the couch.  She was shaking a little and she looked bad.  I carefully picked her up and held her.  I petted her head and talked quietly to her.  I told her I loved her and told it was okay.  Finally, she gave a little cry, and she was gone.  I held her awhile afterwards because I was not sure she was gone. 

The day before I had gone to the clinic because I had bronchitis and I wanted to get medication to help me feel better and to get tested to make sure I did not have COVID.  The doctor said I would know the results the next day but neither of us thought I had COVID.  A couple of hours after Princess died, I checked the clinic’s website.  I was shocked to learn I tested positive.  That made me cry even more.  I was in a bad place. 

I do not know how I got through that day.  I did talk to the county health nurse about going to Dells Christian Campgrounds to bury Princess.  He said it would be okay if I was careful to avoid people.  I messaged my sister-in-law, and she said my brother would dig a hole for Princess.  I let Rachal know, and she asked if she could be there to bury Princess.  I said it was okay, but we needed to keep our distance.  We agreed to meet Friday afternoon.  I carefully wrapped Princess up and put her in my car.  It was cooler weather, and I knew she would keep better in my car than in my house.  Rachal brought potted flowers to plant at the gravesite.  It is a special place at the camp. 

I also knew I need to have a cat in my life.  I looked on the humane society and filled out an application to adopt a cat.  I have been extremely sad and lonely since Princess left me.  I did not realize I would feel like I lost my best friend.  I just want my kitty back!

/http://catsndogs.org/adopt-a-pet/available-pets/

Sunday was Easter and I could not go to church since I was under quarantine.  I decided to watch my church online.  It was almost as if my Pastor knew I was going through a tough time.  His message spoke to my heart to take one step forward.  It helped me move on.  I still miss her.  Tonight, my oldest son brought pictures of Princess in frames for me.  I cried when I saw the photos.  Princess will never be forgotten.

Have you lost a pet?  It is true it is like losing a member of the family.  Go ahead and grieve.  With time the pain will ease.  Take one step forward. 

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Grieving the Death of a Pet By Betty Carmack Because our relationships with our animal companions are unlike human relationships, the death of a pet is like no other loss that we will experience. In this book, Betty J. Carmack draws on the wisdom of Ecclesiastes, her own experience, and interviews with dozens of pet lovers to guide the reader through the initial loss of a pet to the dawning of new hope and reassurance.

Remembering My Pet By Nechama Liss-Levinson, PhD & Rev. Molly Phinney Baskette, Mdiv Honest, caring words and hands-on activities to help kids accept and grow through the loss of a beloved pet. The death of a pet is often a child’s first encounter with grief. How your child learns to cope through this experience may affect his or her attitude into adulthood. Drawing on concepts from psychology and a broad multifaith perspective, this supportive workbook provides a sensitive and practical resource that will help children ages 7-13 cope with the death of a beloved pet.

Pawprints Memorial Pet Collage, Photo Frame By Teri Harrison Remember a lost pet with unique keepsake frame with space for six photos and a heartwarming sentiment. Frame is 11″ x 14″, in classic black, for wall display. Space for photos 3″ x 2.75″; sure to be a comfort in times of loss. Also may be used for photos of multiple pets.“You no longer greet me, as I walk through the door.You’re not there to make me smile, to make me laugh any more.Life seems quiet without you, you were far more than a pet.You were a family member, a friend, a loving soul I’ll never forget.It will take time to heal- for the silence to go away.I still listen for you, and miss you every day.You were such a great companion, constant, loyal and true.My heart will always wear, the pawprints left by you.”Copyright Teri Harrison.